truthsearcher (truthsearcher) wrote in teens_4_god,

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Subject: An AWESOME Resume
06/29/2005 08:01

The Resume of Jesus Christ
> Address: Ephesians 1:20
> Phone: Romans 10:13
> Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
> Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my
> resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart.
> Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.
> Qualifications
> I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
> I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
> I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
> I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
> The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me,
> (See Galatians 3:14)
> Occupational Background
> I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
> I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
> My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)
> Skills Work Experiences
> Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be
> poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free,
> healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty
> that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
> I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me
> shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
> Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you
> of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)
> Educational Background
> I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and
> understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
> In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See
> Colossians 2:3).
> My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your
> feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
> I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).

> Major Accomplishments
> I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times,
> (See Genesis 1:26).
> I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
> I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them
> openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
> I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
> There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You
> can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE.
> don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
> References
> Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings,
> salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance
> In Summation
> Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate
> uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In
> summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and
> lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time
> of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).
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